I want to tell you all a story. It happened a while ago, but still haunts me to this day.

On my birthday I had a few friends over to celebrate with me. I had a great time, it was surprising really, the amount of fun you have before something so tragic.

My friends brought a massive cake with them and since I was turning 21, they decided to cover it with 2100 candles. At first it didn’t seem too much of a problem, but once candle 59 was lit, things sparked out of control.

Candle 59 was a sparkler. The sparks flew everywhere, lighting other candles and other sparklers. My friends shirt caught fire, as did my curtains.

As flames engulfed my house I walked out my front door and made sure to lock it. I then made my way around the back and made sure the back door was locked. I then made my way to the stash of supplies I hid in the forest.

As I did I heard three loud explosions, the fireworks inside the house. If the police, fire brigade and ambulance weren’t there yet, they would be when my final birthday present went off.

A-League expansion is the talk of the town, and after a recent Football Federation Australia announcement, definitely on the agenda for the 2018/19 season. However, the current proposal is for two teams to be added, two teams is not enough. The A-League should instead add six teams for the 2018/19 season. A bold and aggressive move, but a justifiable and worthwhile move.

Currently the A-League is too small and too short, ten teams and 27 rounds is nowhere near ideal for Australia’s national competition. Ideally the A-League needs 18 teams, and a second division for promotion and relegation. Promotion and relegation is unfortunately a long way off, meaning expansion is the only step forward.

Expansion is a risk, Gold Coast United springs to mind, but an undertaking where the rewards massively outweigh the risks. Football in Australia has enormous potential and growing to do. Adding two teams at a time does not fully capitalise on this potential and will only lead to problems down the track.

Round Numbers

The biggest problem with adding two teams at a time is the number of rounds played. Currently, each team plays every other team three times. While this isn’t ideal it sets up a principle that must be maintained. Teams should meet the same number of times as each other match-up. One team should not play another team three times when other teams only play them twice in the season.¹

An increase to 12 teams would mean each team still plays every other team three times, making 33 rounds.¹ Not a big problem, but the huge problem comes with 14 teams playing each other three times, making 39 rounds.¹ 39 rounds is too long, the English Premier League, Serie A (Italy), and LaLiga (Spain) only play 38 rounds. Instead, like these leagues, have the teams only meeting twice, making 26 rounds.¹ Only one less than now, but still too short, especially after a 33 round season before. Making a 16 team league, would mean every team plays every other team twice, home and away, for a 30 round season.¹

Match Numbers

Currently there are five A-League matches each weekend, but more teams would mean more matches and action. Having a headline match stand alone works, but currently every match stands alone, and matches that don’t create a lot of interest don’t need to stand alone, they generally can’t stand alone. Creating a bit of congestion with matches kicking-off simultaneously creates a feeling of action, tension and fluctuation.

An extra six teams means eight games each weekend and it also creates a huge jump in the total number of games. Six extra teams means 105¹ extra games from the current system (135¹). With eight games a round the total number of games would come to 240¹. That would mean the A-League has more games than the AFL (198¹) and the NRL (208¹). Three extra games per round, an extra three rounds and an extra 105¹ matches would surely add immense value to any TV deal.

Emerging Talent

On the field Australia aren’t producing high quality players and it’s not because of a lack of talented players. The interest in junior football is at an all time high, higher than both AFL and Rugby in terms of participation numbers. But currently all that talent has nowhere to go in Australia. An extra six A-League teams would help fix that problem.

Currently with ten professional teams, 110 players start each week, leaving very little room for emerging talent. An 18 year-old might get a couple of games filling a hole, or a few minutes off the bench here and there. But what if a 16 year-old got the opportunity to play 25 games a season? He would improve much quicker and sooner. The more footballing situations a young player is exposed to the better. Especially when playing the best in Australia week-in, week-out.

A 16 team league means 176 players start every week, increasing the chance to play regular football for many. The increase in available spots means more opportunities for young talent, and a chance for them to shine. It may mean a dip in quality at first, but that is short term pain for long term gain. And considering we may see the emergence of the next Viduka, Emerton or Chipperfield, it’s worth it.

Expenses

Across the vast area of Australia and New Zealand, travel is a big expense. But adding six teams will not impact much on this cost. Because a 16 team league only adds three rounds to the current format, travel and stadium hire costs will remain similar to this season.

Using Perth Glory as an example, this season Perth have 14 home games and 13 away. In an expanded 16 team league, they will have 15 home games and 15 away (and they won’t have to travel far for one if there is another team based in Perth).

Teams

Do not get the idea that we need new franchise teams to capture fans from vast areas. A team that unites a state, like Tasmania or the ACT, is worthwhile, but in big cities it’s better to go with established clubs that already have a fan base. Their current fan base may not be large enough currently, but national exposure and being part of the highest level will undoubtedly draw new fans. But the location of new teams is still crucial.

A second team in Brisbane, Adelaide and Perth, possibly another New Zealand team too, should be a priority. A local rivalry immediately creates a strong local interest. The rivalry also creates tension, a new team entering the established teams turf. A strong local rivalry will make headlines if the teams are at the bottom or the top.

Adding teams in Brisbane, Adelaide and Perth would leave three other spots. Both Melbourne and Sydney/Wollongong have the size to support three teams (and more latter). South Melbourne (four times champions of Australia) deserve another crack at Australia’s top flight, while Wollongong Wolves (twice champions of Australia) is another side with a strong football tradition and history.

Tasmania has also received a lot of public support recently, and for good reason. But a new franchise needs to be done with community input and support. Western Sydney Wanderers were a huge success because the community was on-board from the beginning. For a team in Tasmania to succeed, the community, which will be the clubs fans, must be involved from the start.

FFA Cup Format

The FFA Cup cannot be forgotten in any expansion talk. Australia’s National Cup competition is huge for local community football and an expanded A-League is a good excuse for an expanded FFA Cup.

Currently 22 state league sides and ten A-League sides start in the Round of 32. Don’t cut any state league sides to include the new A-League sides. Instead cut 12 A-League sides from the start of the competition, they will enter the competition in later rounds. Doing this creates room for 28 state league sides to enter the competition for the first round, the Round of 32.

The second round of the competition is a Round of 24. Eight A-League sides are added to the 16 winners from last round.

The third round is a Round of 16. The four remaining A-League sides (presumably the top four) join the 12 winners from last round at this stage. The rest of the competition works as normal, with quarter-finals, semi-finals and the final.

Controlling the draw to make sure that a state league side makes the final four is still possible. An expanded FFA Cup with this system means an extra round, an extra 12 matches and six more state league teams for the competition.

Continued Growth

From a 16 team A-League, an 18 team competition isn’t far away. From 18 teams consolidation should be the priority, but with one eye on setting up a second division and introducing promotion and relegation.

W-League

In such a revamp to the men’s game the women’s game should not be forgotten. But an A-League team should not mean an automatic W-League team. Clubs must assess their need for a W-League team and ability to support them. Another option is to have a W-League club first and use it as a stepping stone to the A-League, like Canberra.

¹not including finals

 

I looked up at the clouds wondering how Toby was going.

Three years ago Toby took me on a journey around the world in his boat. He called it the White Sail. As he paddled around the world I looked over the side of the boat and saw the most amazing sight I had ever seen. I was floating above the earth! I could see meadows, fields, towns and roads.

Toby said we were floating on a cloud, but to me the cloud looked like a boat, it had seats, a rudder and two oars. Toby said from the ground they can’t see that stuff, only the fluffy white cloud.

I couldn’t stop looking at the view. A few other clouds passed us. I thought they were clouds, but as they got closer I could see that they were boats too. And there were people inside. I waved, and they waved back.

The boat was floating through the air when trouble first arose. Toby was working harder and harder to row the boat, he started turning blue. The air was heavier and I felt like we were sinking.

Soon there was a leak in the boat. Toby gave me a bucket and I frantically bailed the water out of the boat. I bailed the water out for over an hour. I was scared and started yelling at Toby. I was really mad, all my energy was coming out as I yelled at Toby.

Although I was really mad at Toby for bringing me he helped me bail water out of the boat. Slowly we rose again and my anger disappeared as we floated on air again.

Toby dropped me off shortly after, but I’ll always remember the day I spent floating on the clouds.

His scattered limbs and leaking torso told him to scream, but Samuel knew that wouldn’t help. Instead he mustered up all his strength, “I need you to press the button. I’m caught in a time loop.” The young nurse took a second to process, and a second more to find the button. “Ten seconds of unbearable pain. Press the butt-”

His scattered limbs and leaking torso told him to scream. The nurses around him were all moving to critical, but saveable patients. All the screams around him were understandable, but Samuel knew they wouldn’t help. Instead he mustered up all his strength, “I need you to press the button.” The young nurse took a second to process and a second more to find the button. “I’m caught in a time loop. Ten seconds of unbearable pain.” The button was a few meters away. “Press the butt-”

His scattered limbs and leaking torso told him to scream. The nurses around him were all moving to critical, but saveable patients. Samuel knew this, but was still thankful to the junior nurse who was there with him. All the screams of horror and pain were understandable, but Samuel knew they wouldn’t help. Instead he mustered up all his strength, “I need you to press the button.” The young nurse took a second to process, and a second more to find the button. “I’m caught in a time loop.” The button was a few meters away. “Ten seconds of unbearable pain.” The nurse lunged for the button…

Dear friends,

Today I write to you from jail. While it’s very unfortunate that I’m here (my palette longs for good meat), I hope that you can learn from my mistake and avoid my fate.

About a month ago I was at the local shops when I ran into a friend and we started talking. We were talking about normal things, our days activities, our upcoming plans and the recent movie at the cinemas.

Then I asked her why she was at the shops today. She searched her bag for an item. While she did this she said, “I ate my housemates…” I immediately jumped in with my compliment of her eating habits and informed her of my own.

I spared no detail, from selecting my human housemates, fattening them, killing them, storing them (including secret passagways and secrurity codes) and cooking them. I even invited her over to my place for a taste of my latest human.

When I looked back at her there was an expression of horror on her face. To my surprise all she said was, “Muffins. I ate my housemates muffins.”

She walked away quickly and the next day the police visited my place. They knew exactly where my storage was and even the security codes.

Friends, I write so that you recognise the need for patience and subtlety. It is a very important skill set to have and may save you a trip to jail.

Your friend,

Doctor Smith

Award winning Darwin film-maker Thomas Midena has spent the last three years at university in Melbourne. For the past six months he has been working on his final project to complete his studies – a short film – complete with cast, crew, production, post-production and crowd funding.

Thomas wrote and directed the film called Conductor of Earth, and after a stressful last few months, Thomas and I talked about the film…

What is Conductor of Earth about?
The elevator pitch for this film basically runs out of my brain and mouth like it’s second nature at this point. I have completely lost track of how many times I’ve said it and I’m so sick of it at this point, but here goes… ME: And yet I’m already exiting the elevator because you’re only starting it now. (Laughing) Okay, hop back in the elevator and we’ll go up another couple of floors. Conductor of Earth is a fantasy drama about an angel who travels back in time to try and prevent a murder from happening.

Elaborate?
The very initial idea for it was – I wanted to tell one of those stories kinda inspired by fairy tales and fantasy stories, and shows like Doctor Who where they use something from ordinary everyday life and put a twist on it or add to it. Like tell a fantastic tale that could be true, there’s no way of disproving it. So that, and I wanted to do a story where “What if someone was charged with taking care of the Earth?” So that’s where the angel idea began and eventually in developing that and grounding the story, it became the fact that the angel is old and disillusioned and kinda fed-up with his job and how does he rediscover joy and happiness in his job.

How long have you spent working on Conductor of Earth? That includes when you came up with the idea to right now.
It has been about a year. I don’t have a date, but I was definitely working on the script in November 2015. So it was almost exactly a year ago that I started on it and at this point we’re still not done.

You’ve handed in a copy to be marked, so what are you still working on?
The copy that we submitted had a few little issues with it, like it was a good copy, a very solid draft. People who watch it for the first time probably wouldn’t notice any problems but there were things that we rushed at the end. Particularly some visual effects and colour grading, which we rushed at the end, but we’re going to improve them over the next couple of weeks.

What’s going to happen to the final film? Are you planning on showing it anywhere, posting it on YouTube?
First off, in December it will be screened in Melbourne for the first time at Swinburne Graduate Film Screenings, that will be the first opportunity (to see the film). Next all our Pozible backers will get to see it and then we’re entering it into festivals, whatever film festivals we can find and see how that goes. And finally, yes, I am very keen to just have it really accessible on the internet somewhere. I’d love to just slap it up on YouTube so anyone can see, as soon as possible.

I noticed you mentioned that “we’re hoping to get it up” and “we’re entering it in festivals”, so how many people were involved in this project?
It is interesting that you point out that’s the way I say it. I hadn’t noticed that, but now that you mention it, I notice I’ve used the ‘we’ with this project for months. There’s been a lot of people, you’ll see our long credits in the actual film when you see it. Basically, we have five main team members, or heads of department as I call them. We had a cast of five, we had a couple of extras, in all around twenty on-set crew, about fifty Pozible crowdfunding supporters, and a few other people who helped along the way. So, hundreds if you do the math. Hundreds. Don’t do the math.

During this project, did you find it easy or hard to work with others?
Mostly very easy. I think I was very lucky to find the cast and crew that I had who were very keen and upbeat and professional, also skilled at what they do, but I care less about that than just being friendly and having fun, which they did. Of course there were some stressful times where we got a bit annoyed at each other, but you’ve gotta have that. No massive dramas though.

What is your favourite part of Conductor of Earth?
First of all, how dare you ask me that question! Because I like very many things about this production, Conductor of Earth. So you watch your mouth! If I had to name one thing it would actually be the music, which is original, an original score. Earlier this year I stumbled across the YouTube channel of a young composer in England called Thomas Field and I liked his YouTube videos a lot. He just talked about music and Doctor Who, so I knew we had some things in common, we liked similar music, shared tastes. So I asked if he would compose for Conductor of Earth and he agreed. His original score for Conductor of Earth is big and bold and thematic and just what I dreamed of.

Does it sound similar to Doctor Who?
It most definitely I would say has a lot of flavours of Doctor Who. It also sounds like Broadchurch and The Sims.

Are we going to be able to listen to this soundtrack?
I hope to get it online as soon as possible. I hope this year sometime and our Pozible crowdfunding supporters will get it too.

Have you got any random or interesting stories about the filming?
There’s one or two little things that I can’t say and won’t say until I’ve officially graduated from university. And so for cool stories, unfortunately, most of the shooting and production went really smoothly. I was very sick during the actual shoot. I had an ear infection, an eardrum burst a few days before (shooting). So I couldn’t hear out of my right ear at all. So on the first day of the shoot we were about to go for the first take and that’s when I realised I couldn’t hear all the crew calls, so I didn’t know when to call action. Didn’t know when everyone was ready. So, after that I just asked my wonderful assistant director Cameron Boscoe to call action himself. So, I didn’t call action on set for most of the shoot. So, I felt like a pretty chill director.

Conductor of Earth’s first screening will be on the 12th of December (Unfortunately this screening isn’t open to the public). By early next year the Pozible crowdfunding supporters will get to watch the film. The film’s soundtrack will also be provided to the Pozible supporters and available to hear online. To find out more about Conductor of Earth you can follow the film’s page on facebook, or look at the page on IMDb.

I made it myself and carry it on me at all times. The shape allows it to rest comfortably against my arm while I sleep and play. Actually I always keep it on my arm, my right arm generally. Although it also goes on my left arm and leg. But that’s just one feature.

As you can see, the top half is a blade. That blade continues along the pen but stops before the grip, ensuring that it never gets in my way while writing. This discreet blade has come in handy on a few occasions. I keep it on my person at all times for this simple reason.

You may also notice the absence of a fountain and no need of an inkwell. My pen draws blood from its victims. It writes with the blood of its vanquished foes. In fact they don’t even need to be dead, I’ve killed a few men simply by draining them of blood while working on a novel.

Oh, and all it needs is a signature.

The other day I was telling a friend about my most recent foodbook. I got it from the local bookshop and it went through recipes for breakfast, lunch and dinner over two weeks.

I loved it. I ate one recipe a meal, it even came with suggestions for when you should eat the meal. Breakfast was probably the most difficult for timing. I get up really early some days, so eating a porridge recipe two hours after I woke up seemed pointless.

I sleep in on weekends, so I set an alarm for my Fruity Sunday Shake. I ate the recipe and went straight back to sleep. I didn’t even get out of bed.

My friend wanted to borrow the recipe book. It was a strange request, it was like he hadn’t heard when I told him I had just finishing eating it. And who wants to borrow recipe books anyway? Everyone eats the recipe. What a weirdo.

Because it’s your birthday I got you something you will enjoy.

I got you a robot hand!

Hold out your hand. Now imagine a hand that looks exactly the same, but instead of skin, blood and bone, it will be plastic, oil and metal. Doesn’t that sound great?

I know right! Now can you just rest your hand on the chopping board here. For your robot hand to work properly and look right I’m going to chop off your real hand. I’ll then put it on ice and send it to the robot hand making guys so they can analyse and copy it.

This knife looks big enough. After the guys have your real hand for a bit they’ll send it back. Then they’ll make and send you your robot hand in about two years. So, basically I’m giving you three presents, I’m telling you this year, next year I’ll give you your real hand back and the year after you get your robot hand!

Now, hold still.

I just had a nap. In that nap I had a dream, which contained an idea. The trouble is, I can’t remember what it was.

I always have this problem. I have a dream, but when I wake up I generally have no idea what my dream was about.

I only seem to remember my dreams if they were about football. The thing about this dream is, it had football in it. My mates and I went to a game and enjoyed ourselves. But I don’t remember my great idea in the dream.

But it sure was a good game of football.