Who’s your babysitter?

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“Hello, and welcome back to the World Baby Sitting Championships, I’m Brad Anderson. We’ve seen some great baby sitting in this week long event. Samuel Johnson joins me, and Sam, what has been the higlight of the week for you?”

“Thanks Brad, the highlight for me has been a renewed trust in good baby sitting technique. I’ve seen a lot of these championships and too often I saw sloppy baby sitting. No awareness, no research, no commitment. It was hard to watch. But this championship I’ve seen competitors return to a serious, disicplined approach.”

“Thank you Sam. Now let’s have a look at how the finalists qualified for tonights final. Our favourite qualified with a record forty-seven kills from his fifty baby sittings.”

“Yes Brad, his technique is impecible. When he sits on the babies he’s careful to note how old they are, so you know how long you need to sit on them until they die. Which is a key skill to learn under the time pressure.”

“Agreed. Our second finalist qualified with a then record forty-five kills.”

“Another good example of technique here. He’s very aware of his butt positioning to kill the infant in the shortest amount of time and move on to the next sitting.”

“Indeed, our two finalists tonight. Great baby killers.”