Is it my birth-minute?


2:59AM. In a minute it’ll be my birth-minute.

I can’t wait! I always sing on my birth-minute, I think I’m getting better.

Ten, nine, eight…….



Later that day…

“How’s the new baby?” asked Janice.
“A nightmare. She’s crying through the night and I don’t know whether to ignore it or not,” replied tired mother Sahrah.
“It’s more than that darling. She cries every night at exactly 3am. I reckon it’s an alien transmission,” joked Sahrah’s husband.
“Don’t speak about our daughter like that,” said Sahrah.
“I’m sure Lucy has her reasons,” added Janice.

Could you eat a horse?


Four strong young males strutted into the restaurant and sat down to order.

“I want a horse!” said Daniel.
“Too expensive,” said Sam. “How about a lamb?”
“You know I’m watching my weight Sam.” said Dave.
“Well, we could get it wild.”
“A lamb wouldn’t provide much of a challenge, and besides, the reason we come here is to avoid the wild,” said Mitch.

The four sat deliberating over what to eat, “Chicken?” “Too small.” Cow?” “Too unhealthy.” “Deer?” “I had deer for breakfast.” “Human?” “Only for desert, they’re normally too sweet.” “Elephant?” “The last elephant I ate made me sick for a week.”

It was at this point that the waiter finally spoke up, “We have a special on body builders at the moment. A lean and strong subspecies of human. Feed very high quality food and in tip-top shape. The only thing is he has to be wild.”

Daniel looked around the group, and they all nodded. “Okay, we’ll have two wild body builders.”

“Great, I’ll put them in number four. Enjoy your meal. And thank you for eating at The Lion’s Den.”

What should I wear?


To decide what to wear I need to know what I’m doing today.

In the morning I’m slaughtering a few Progantoids. They have blue blood, so maybe a blue shirt. It gets very messy, better go a long sleeve shirt. And lightweight too because I need to catch them first.

After that I’m spying on a Sheevite. I’ll need camouflage or I could just wear my invisibility clothing. Unfortunately the colour isn’t the best, but that doesn’t matter too much with invisibility clothing.

Then tonight I’ve got a date with my lovely, I need to look my best. She likes it when I wear yellow. And I think my matching yellow shoes are really cool. I can’t get them dirty though, because they will explode!

So, I still don’t know what to wear, maybe I’ll just take my wardrobe with me.

Where does milk come from?


There are people called air-ee farmers. And every day they get milk for us to drink.

And it’s a hard job, because milk comes from clouds. So what air-ee farmers do is fly up high in the sky to where the clouds are pure white. That’s where the best milk comes from.

So they fly into the sky, dodging planes, helicopters and the occasional rocket. And when they reach the cloud, they have to tickle it in the right place for the cloud to happily part with it’s milk.

If the air-ee farmer makes the cloud angry then the cloud won’t give them the milk.

And that class, is where milk comes from.