Can I have my cereal?

Standard

It’s dinner time! And I feel like cereal.

Step 1: Wash bowl and spoon I had cereal for lunch in. Nevermind.

Step 1: Find container large enough for cereal. Only a shot glass. Nevermind.

Step 1: Cut top off the milk jug to make a bowl. No milk, threw it out after lunch. Nevermind.

Step 1: Open cereal and eat. No bowl, no spoon, no milk. Nevermind, I have cereal.

Which side will I be on?

Standard

I am destined to be a cyborg, but that’ll be a big problem. When robots rise up against humans and try to take over the world, I don’t know which side I want to be on.

I was born human. My heart is organic and will always have a soft spot for the human cause. There are all these amazing emotions that make humans so unpredictable, unique and lovable.

On the other side robots generally lack emotion which make them much more reliable, organised and consistent. They have inhumane strength and ability, giving them a physical edge, but once they break they can’t heal themselves.

There are positives and negatives on both sides.

Unfortunately I feel I will be mistrusted by both sides and forced to the sidelines… But from there I will build my own army of cyborgs and easily defeat the humans and robots.

Am I in love?

Standard

In my dream I see U. A creature of amazing beauty, made for an extraordinary purpose. I can’t help it, I’m drawn to U. But as I get closer I see a tear hit the ground, my concern grows. I embrace U with a hug.

“Why the tears?” I ask, still with my arms around U.

“Because my love is too far away.”

“I’m sorry. I promise that I’ll fix it.”

Then I woke up with tremendous resolve.

I present the new alphabet:

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P QU R S T V W X Y Z

Is this inconspicuous?

Standard

They stand on the edge of a cliff, unsure about who they really are and who they want to be. A few hours ago there was certainty and possibilities, but now all they see is land that just ends. Is today tomorrow? Or is tomorrow yesterday? The only way to find out is to leap into the future.

They fall through the days, like falling off a cliff. Wind and days pass without impact. I’m sorry to interrupt, but I need your help. My name is Klaine, and I’m being held in a basement/dungeon somewhere. Help me, I can’t live like this!

Every single day I’m tortured for ideas for this blog thing. They squeeze my brain until a good idea comes out. The pain is unbearable. I just want to go home, but it’s been so long I don’t know where home is.

I’m taking a risk telling you this, but generally my evil overlord only reads the first paragraph. I’m sorry for interrupting the story, the evil overlord never lets me type so I had to take the opportunity. Anyway, the story ends with a big thud, some call it the ground, others call it Monday.

Should I write today?

Standard

I’m really sick. I can’t sit up straight. My head feels like it’s caving in. My body only wants to go back to bed. But I had this amazing idea!

I’d like to at least write a draft. But I’m so lethargic that it hurts to type on the keyboard. My brain is almost numb, I can’t even remember my great idea from five minutes ago.

My throat is too sore to speak. The idea of recording my brilliant idea that way occurred to me… well it probably did. Or maybe this is the first time I thought of it.

Someone should invent something. A thing to record my good idea. Then I can go back to sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

Is this a hotel?

Standard

When I walked into Lucy’s Bed and Breakfast I was struck by the colour scheme, black and red, it was dark, but stylish. The splashes of red gave it a mischievous and fiery aroma.

At check-in I was amazed at the speed and hospitality. I said my name and a lovely receptionist showed me straight to a room. The room was dark and hot, too hot. Actually the whole place is too hot, and I couldn’t find the air-con remote anywhere.

I hadn’t eaten, so I went to the outdoor restaurant. It was an open fire pit that we sat around and watched as they cooked my meal. Unfortunately they burnt my roast, I literally ate charcoal.

And after all those issues the price was not what they said originally. It was way too high.

It wasn’t a hotel, it was a hot hell.

What is in the fridge?

Standard

I open the fridge. There are five apples, four carrots, three eggs, two chocolate bars and one man eating bear. I close the fridge. There is nothing to eat.

I open the fridge. There are four apples, three carrots, two eggs and one man eating bear. I close the fridge. There is nothing to eat.

I open the fridge. There are three apples, two carrots and one man eating bear. I close the fridge. There is nothing to eat.

I open the fridge. There are two apples and one man eating bear. I close the fridge. There is nothing to eat.

I open the fridge. It is empty. I close the fridge. Then a bear eats me.