Excuse me sir, can you please help me put my new shoes on? I only just got them and I’m having a bit of trouble. Can you help?

You see, they’re my favourite shoes. I love the colours, it matches perfectly with the shirt I’m wearing. The low cut profile allows my ankles to breathe. And they just suit my style.

It’s a real pity they’re two sizes too small.

I wasn’t too picky when I got them. I just saw someone wearing them and asked if I could have them, he said, “Over my dead body!” So I killed him and got my new shoes. That’s why they’re a bit blood splattered.

Thank you for helpi… Hang on a second. What size shoe are you? I’d kill for those shoes.