One morning, as I was looking out the window, the milkman came to deliver our daily order of milk. As he did every morning, he put two glass bottles full of fresh milk on our porch, turned around and left as quickly as he came.

A few minutes later, an elephant strode towards our house and sucked up all the milk in its trunk. The elephant then did a handstand on the two empty bottles. After finishing the handstand with a majestic jump and twist, the elephant emptied the contents of its trunk back into the two milk bottles.

Shortly after, a pelican wandered onto our porch. It picked up the milk bottles and emptied the contents into its mouth. Then the pelican threw the empty bottles high into the air and took flight. With precision accuracy the pelican caught both bootles in mid-air. The pelican landed on our porch and spat out the milk back into the two milk bottles.

“Get up Tony! Time for breackfast! Do you want milk on your cereal?”

It was the light that attracted me. I had never seen it before, and yet, I knew it was good the moment I saw it.

I wasn’t even sure where it came from at first, but I kept searching until I found a house at the end of the street. Why was this house the only one with the lights on?

As I approached I saw there was no door, instead there was a wall of liquid where the door shoul’ve been. And in the light I worked out it was blood. Was everyone inside covered by this blood?

“Come in.” said a voice from inside. The voice was smooth, calm and deep. I felt safe, so I trusted him and stepped through the blood. Who was this voice?

Inside was pure white, even the blood I brought in with me vanished. But there was no one inside, and the lights weren’t even on. The building itself was shining from the inside out. As I stood in awe, I heard footsteps behind me…

“You didn’t remember it!” shouted Andy.

“Of course I did!” replied an out of breath Stanley.

“Well then where is it!?.”

“In my pocket!”

“No, not the matches, the bomb!”

“Oh yeah…” Stanley thought for a moment, “Well I like explosions!”

“But we haven’t got the dimonds!” As Andy finished his sentece the whole museum exploded. Andy and Stanley took cover, only emerging when it started raining diamonds.

“Are we done here?”

As he lies asleep I always like to keep watch and prepared, waiting for the best moment to attack.

Sometimes I’ll attack while he’s deep in sleep. They’re the best I think, because I can see that after my attack he stumbles awake… literally. It’s great fun to watch and means a job well done.

Although I have noticed lately that not attacking is also quite fun. He doesn”t wake up tired, but he wakes up angry and in a rush, I laughed when he put his shirt on backwards after I did this.

The thing with this sort of attack is you’ve got to time it well… but you’re alarm clocks. So that shouldn’t be a problem.