I am convinced that one day I will be able to travel in time.

My reasoning is very simple. I am an ideas man, and I have amazing ideas. Some are good, some are not so good, but the not so good ones generally just need a bit of refinement. And my ideas are original.

The problem is that a lot of my ideas don’t seem original. Occasionally someone will tell me that my original idea already exists, or is in the making. Meaning that my original ideas don’t seem that original.

But I still think they are. And therefore a future version of myself must be traveling back in time and mentioning these ideas to others. My future self must be a practical joker.

I did a handstand yesterday, it was pretty impressive.

Now before you start thinking about my feet in the air and hands on the ground, let me tell you what I mean when I say ‘handstand’.

When I say ‘handstand’, I mean that my hand was used to stand something on. Like a hatstand or a lampstand.

Yesterday I was outside and somebody asked me to hold their hat. I’m not sure why, but they did. And so I remained in the same spot, holding their hat.

I did this for over an hour, until they remembered that I had their hat. I was a pretty impressive handstand.

I would like some flowers, some edible flowers.

I am not the kind of person that admires flowers for long periods. I think they’re pretty, but they’re a decoration, and not my style of decoration (I prefer football shirts hanging everywhere). But if I could eat flowers they would become the coolest thing ever.

It would combine the beauty of flowers and the deliciousness of food. I would suggest that each flower is a flavour of chocolate. Roses could be cherry flavoured chocolate. Daffodils could be caramel flavour. I would enjoy my flowers so much more, and on two different levels.

It would also save money. The ‘I love you’ combo for every husband is flowers and chocolate. Imagine if you only had to buy edible flowers, it would save money.

And I think that would be a perfect date. I would bring edible flowers, we could admire them while we eat dinner, and then eat the flowers for desert. Perfect.

One of my favourite games to play is hide and seek. It’s nice and simple and can be played anywhere.

I remember a game with a friend of mine, it was about 12 years ago. We were in an empty room, no furniture or cupboards. Just a door, a few windows, and a painting on the wall.

She wanted to hide first, so I closed my eyes and counted to ten. When I opened my eyes she was gone. I turned right and couldn’t see her, I turned left, same result. I turned around but still couldn’t find her.

Then I heard her giggling right behind me. So I looked behind me and there she was! She had been hiding behind me the whole time!

I told her to count to ten while I found a hiding spot. I knew exactly what I was going to do. I opened the door quietly and ran away. She still hasn’t found me.

I was playing football this afternoon, I was at the back. We played a back four and I was one of the centre-backs, I read the game well, and I’m comfortable with the ball at my feet. Anyway, just before I left there was an attack down the right. I was marking someone in the centre, but the keeper came to collect. Once he had the ball we centre-backs split and I received the ball from the keeper, controlled it and looked up before playing a pass. Then I had to go.

I had to pick up a friend from a nearby café. I jogged to meet her and we came back via the game of football. Unfortunately, it had finished. The field was empty and I was disappointed.

As we walked back to my place it began to get a bit steep, and soon there was a cliff in front of us. There must have been an Earthquake, maybe that’s why they stopped playing football. Anyway, we decide to climb this cliff, we managed to climb it easily. I have good upper body strength. But as I was almost at the top, the rock I was holding fell, and so did I.

Then I hit the floor and woke up.