How long was your nap?

Standard

We ask the big questions here, the questions that matter. And today we’ve got a big one: How long do you have to be asleep for it to be defined as a sleep?

Most people need eight hours of sleep to be fully recharged and ready to go. Some need less, others more. But often we don’t get our necessary amount of sleep. So we have naps, shorter periods of sleep. Humans have had naps for years, but what I want to know is how long is a nap?

How long do I need to be asleep for a nap to become a sleep? I like naps, but occasionally I’m so tired that my nap lasts for five or six hours. So, did I have a nap, or a sleep? Or are they the same thing? Have I been having ten hour naps my whole life? What about when I only have a three-hour sleep because I’ve been up all night? Is there a specific time based definition for sleep and naps? What about afternoon naps? What if they’re not in the afternoon? When you wake-up early after a good sleep but decide to go back to sleep for a few extra minutes, does that count as a nap or part of your sleep?

And how do you know the deceased?

Standard

I’m the investigating officer!

Everyone at the station told me to rule the case accidental, but I thought something was off. So I kept digging.

In old case files I found a number of very similar accidents. And I thought that all of them as one-offs might be accident’s, but all of them together struck me as odd and worth looking into.

I started to look at the victims again, particularly focusing on whether or not they were clumsy or accident prone. I found that none of them were, all the victims were of sound mind and good health.

A colleague from the CLOWN unit agreed there may be something to this case and directed me to the news, the family or the funeral. Somewhere the killer might bask in the glory of his kill.

And that’s how I found you.

How do you know the deceased?

Standard

I’m the murderer!

Everyone thinks the fire was an accident, but I carefully planned it. And executed it perfectly I might add.

I’ve stalked her place for years, so I knew she’d take a sleeping pill on New Years Eve and go to bed early. And she’d also leave the fire smouldering for warmth in these cold winter months.

But then I needed a way into the house to set things up. So I became her cleaner, this granted me access and when the police found my prints they were perfectly explained.

That night I snuck in, closed a few doors, whipped up a few flames, before exiting and going to the midnight fireworks.

And the police will never know…

What will happen next year?

Standard

With under a week to go until we are thrust into 2018 I’d like to give you a heads up.

Early in 2018 millions will fall victim to the 2017 Virus. The 2017 Virus is not really a virus, it’s a simple time-loop conductor. It traps people in a time-loop of 2017, doomed to forever repeat 2017.

The way you fall victim to the 2017 Virus is quite simple. All you do is write 2017 instead of 2018 when you date something.

And POOF! You vanish!

The time-loop conductor is activated. Back to 2017 to relive the year. At least you get to relive America and Italy qualifying for the FIFA World Cup.

Why is Christmas is evil?

Standard

In 2481 a mechanic learns of a plan to destroy the last day for humanity, Christmas. With the help of his mechanical creations they must stand up for the lost meaning of Christmas.

The 25th century is stripped of all humanity, only a select few rule from high in the sky, reigning over their humanless war robots. These robots serve rich, warring, and corrupt masters.

The only humans left are those forced to serve, and those who couldn’t were disposed of, like Jem-Ray-Tash’s mother. Before she left, she told Jem-Ray-Tash the lost story of Christmas.

With his talents for machines and some unlikely allies, Jem-Ray-Tash must tell this story to the world. A story that gives hope in a dark and oppressive world…

How quickly can I watch all seven movies?

Standard

Star Wars: The Last Jedi comes out on Thursday, and I haven’t rewatched the films yet.

So, how long will it take me? I’m going to start with A New Hope at 121 minutes. Next I’ll watch The Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi at 124 and 131 minutes.

The prequel trilogy comes next, The Phantom Menace at 133 minutes. Attack of the Clones at 142 minutes. And Revenge of the Sith at 140 minutes.

Finally we come to The Force Awakens at 138 minutes.

Now, I’ve had a few different sources tell me different times, so these times may not be correct, but that won’t be to much hassle, it’ll only be an estimate.

Together all those seven movies add up to 929 minutes, or 15 and a half hours of Star Wars.

So, I can watch them all before Thursday. Who needs sleep.

Did I leave the iron on?

Standard

Renee slammed the car door shut and turned on the engine. On the horizon thick black smoke billowed in the air. She backed out, narrowly avoiding a pedestrian on the sidewalk, before slamming the accelerator and running straight through the intersection.

The smoke rose higher, and even though Renee couldn’t be sure it was coming from her house, it looked about right. The buildings and houses obscured her view directly, but in a few turns she would either breathe a huge sigh of relief or prepare to rush into a burning building.

Only twenty minutes earlier Renee left her house for coffee with a friend. But after her friend spotted the smoke her heart sank.

Had she left the iron on again?

A funny feeling told her she had. Renee was always forgetting things. And her freshly ironed shirt supported the deadly conclusion. In a few turns her worst fears would be confirmed. A water bottle lay beside her, it would help a bit when she ran into the burning building.

She sped around the bend, narrowly avoiding onlookers. Renee let out a breath. Her house wasn’t on fire. It was next door. Her house was safe.

Still, she was sure she’d left the iron on. She parked and jogged to her front doorstep. It was damp, so was the carpet inside. And then she remembered. She didn’t turn off the tap after filling up her water bottle, but at least the iron was off.