Did Julian Brandt just score the goal of the tournament?

Standard

Germany on the attack with Brandt. The substitute with a nice ball to Reus. Gomez is in there. Pulls it back. Over everyone and Germany can’t win it, but it drops to BRANDT!!!

That is one of the cleanest strikes you are ever likely to see! He caught that perfectly and it arrowed into the top corner, Ochoa had no chance!

For all Mexico’s resistance today they’ve been undone by one of the great World Cup goals. The man from Bayern Leverkusen has really made his presence felt since coming on only moments ago. That is the reason why they left Leroy Sane at home.

Brandt was involved in the build up, playing a nice ball to Reus, who moved it on to Gomez. His pull back was over everyone and Kimmich failed to win it on the edge of the area. But it fell to Brandt and he let fly with one of the goals of the tournament! We’ve already seen some worldies, but that one will be talked about for ages.

Will it scar?

Standard

I hope the scratch on my arm leaves a scar, because then I can tell this story…

A washing basket attacked me!

I was walking around my apartment block when someone yelled, “Look out!” I looked up just in time to see a washing basket falling straight towards me! I manged to get my arm in front of my face just in time.

As I lay on the ground the owner of the washing basket came to my aid and explained. She was hanging out her clothes on the balcony and placed the full basket on the railing, she bumped it and sent it flying towards me.

She took me to the hospital. The doctors were more worried about the bump on my head than the gash on my arm. But after a lot of stitches, many concussion tests and skull x-rays I was allowed to return home.

And that’s how I got this scar.

What book should I read next?

Standard

I just finished reading a book. And until the World Cup starts there is very little to do, so I need to start reading another book.

But what type of book. Another fantasy? I’ve just read three fantasy novels in a row, I’ll definitely read another, but not now. I have plenty of other genre’s to enjoy. Biography? Murder Mystery? Teaching? Football?

I can’t choose a single book to read from my hundreds of books. Instead I narrow it down by the process of elimination. Let’s go through the options.

Football: A football book may lift my excitement for the World Cup. But I doubt it considering I’ve been waiting four years and now IT’S SOO CLOSE!

Teaching: I have a number of unread books about writing sitting on my shelf, and I should read them… But if I read them now I won’t be able to put any of it into practice because IT’S SOOO CLOSE!

Murder Mystery: I love a good murder mystery, I read them straight away. The only unread murder mysteries I have, I’m not sure about. There’s a body, but are the people investigating interesting? I’ve read a few where they’re not. I won’t gamble when IT’S SOOOO CLOSE!

Which leaves only one genre.

Biography: Learning about someone, how they think and what they think is enlightening. I love getting inside someone’s head.

Now, which one? IT’S SOOOOO CLOSE! Eliminate the thick ones, then the football ones. And after that there are only a few options. And the final step is ennie, minnie, minnee, moe. I’ll read that book.

And then… IT’s SOOOOOO CLOSE!

What is the point of sharp things?

Standard

I, like many others, struggle to answer this question. But generally I find the best way to answer this is by trial and error. Let me show you my technique…

To follow along at home you’ll need a knife and a tender surface. I always use my own thigh, that way if the object in question is indeed sharp, the point should impale my thigh. But you can use use someone else’s thigh if you’re unsure.

A knife is the most common sharp object, but I never know where the point is. Here’s how I find out, once you do it yourself you’ll see it’s very simple.

Firstly, grab your knife, it doesn’t matter what end. Grip it firmly and plunge it towards your thigh. If it goes through your flesh and deep into your thigh, then congratulations, you’ve found the point! If not, you probably tried to plunge the wrong end into your thigh. Don’t worry. Turn the knife around and try again!

You can use this technique to find the pointy end on other things too! Like forks, arrows, needles, pins, pencils, letter openers, teeth, scissors, nails… the list goes on.

Is this the beginning?

Standard

We’re back!

After 38 games it feels hollow to say we deserved it, even with the opening three months of the season. But the difference this victory makes, means it’s only the beginning.

The players are there to challenge on one front, we know that from the big matches. But now we must invest so we can challenge on all three, and in doing so our league challenge strengthens.

It’s too early to set goals for next season. But a title challenge next season is a minimum requirement.

And a final in Madrid this time next year would be nice.

Is that roadkill?

Standard

The highway was hauntingly beautiful. The setting sun coloured the clouds in various hues of yellow, orange and purple, while the glare almost made the road invisible. On either side of the road silhouetted bodies were identifiable hundreds of metres down the long, straight bitumen.

One of the bodies was Robin, a wallaby. She was fiercely independent and hopped out on her own from an early age. She craved the wild life, carefree and limitless. Then she met Riger.

Riger was a kangaroo. Small, rugged and picked on by the rest of the mob. Riger never had the physical attributes to contribute to the mob, and so he left. He enjoyed life off on his own.

It was a perfect match. Their adventurous spirits drew them together and bonded them for life. They travelled far and wide, across mountains and marshlands. They enjoyed countless moonlit nights together in the outback.

It was romantic how their lives were ended in the same instant, by the same road-train, as the sun coloured the sky. However, fate separated their final resting places, Robin thrown to the right of the road and Riger the left. Even now their spirits are separated by the seven metre strip of highway…

Are you calm?

Standard

Today we are going to do something different. We are all stressed, so today I’m going to calm you down with an impromptu meditation exercise.

STEP ONE: Close your eyes

This turns your focus around. You are no longer looking at this screen, the outside world or all your prob— Actually no. Don’t do that, because then you can’t read this.

Hmmm… okay got it.

STEP ONE: Close your fist

As you do that I want you to tense all the muscles in your arm. Let all your anger fuel the energy in your arm and through to your fist. Put your clenched fist in your other pal— Wait! This is supposed to be calming.

Hmmmm… okay, try this.

STEP ONE: Breathe in

Let the air flow though your nostrils. Notice how your head lifts. Feel your lungs fill with air. Now think of wide open spaces. No one is around. It’s just you, no one will ever bother you again. You are all alon— What!? Is it just me or does that sound really sad and depressing?

Hmmmmm… okay, one last try.

STEP ONE: Stop

Stop what you’re doing. Take a second, a minute, an hour. Just relax. Tomorrow will take car— Sorry!?. You can breathe out now. Probably should have told you that earlier.