With under a week to go until we are thrust into 2018 I’d like to give you a heads up.

Early in 2018 millions will fall victim to the 2017 Virus. The 2017 Virus is not really a virus, it’s a simple time-loop conductor. It traps people in a time-loop of 2017, doomed to forever repeat 2017.

The way you fall victim to the 2017 Virus is quite simple. All you do is write 2017 instead of 2018 when you date something.

And POOF! You vanish!

The time-loop conductor is activated. Back to 2017 to relive the year. At least you get to relive America and Italy qualifying for the FIFA World Cup.

In 2481 a mechanic learns of a plan to destroy the last day for humanity, Christmas. With the help of his mechanical creations they must stand up for the lost meaning of Christmas.

The 25th century is stripped of all humanity, only a select few rule from high in the sky, reigning over their humanless war robots. These robots serve rich, warring, and corrupt masters.

The only humans left are those forced to serve, and those who couldn’t were disposed of, like Jem-Ray-Tash’s mother. Before she left, she told Jem-Ray-Tash the lost story of Christmas.

With his talents for machines and some unlikely allies, Jem-Ray-Tash must tell this story to the world. A story that gives hope in a dark and oppressive world…

Star Wars: The Last Jedi comes out on Thursday, and I haven’t rewatched the films yet.

So, how long will it take me? I’m going to start with A New Hope at 121 minutes. Next I’ll watch The Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi at 124 and 131 minutes.

The prequel trilogy comes next, The Phantom Menace at 133 minutes. Attack of the Clones at 142 minutes. And Revenge of the Sith at 140 minutes.

Finally we come to The Force Awakens at 138 minutes.

Now, I’ve had a few different sources tell me different times, so these times may not be correct, but that won’t be to much hassle, it’ll only be an estimate.

Together all those seven movies add up to 929 minutes, or 15 and a half hours of Star Wars.

So, I can watch them all before Thursday. Who needs sleep.

Renee slammed the car door shut and turned on the engine. On the horizon thick black smoke billowed in the air. She backed out, narrowly avoiding a pedestrian on the sidewalk, before slamming the accelerator and running straight through the intersection.

The smoke rose higher, and even though Renee couldn’t be sure it was coming from her house, it looked about right. The buildings and houses obscured her view directly, but in a few turns she would either breathe a huge sigh of relief or prepare to rush into a burning building.

Only twenty minutes earlier Renee left her house for coffee with a friend. But after her friend spotted the smoke her heart sank.

Had she left the iron on again?

A funny feeling told her she had. Renee was always forgetting things. And her freshly ironed shirt supported the deadly conclusion. In a few turns her worst fears would be confirmed. A water bottle lay beside her, it would help a bit when she ran into the burning building.

She sped around the bend, narrowly avoiding onlookers. Renee let out a breath. Her house wasn’t on fire. It was next door. Her house was safe.

Still, she was sure she’d left the iron on. She parked and jogged to her front doorstep. It was damp, so was the carpet inside. And then she remembered. She didn’t turn off the tap after filling up her water bottle, but at least the iron was off.