Is this good for football?


Today FFA announced that Round 10 of the A-League will be Star Wars Round.

I love Star Wars and football. They are two great loves of mine. But, I’m not sure they work together. Football doesn’t need Star Wars, and Star Wars doesn’t need football. I will always support both.

But… we need to take a step back. The purpose of the Star Wars Round is not for football people. The Star Wars Round is designed for kids and families. Because of the association with Star Wars, kids and parents will come. Which is good for football, and the reason for this partnership.

Football people may not like it, but it’s not designed for them. It’s designed to get kids and families through the gates. And I think it will.

What ingredients would you bring?


I have an idea for a restaurant. A Bring Your Own Ingredients restaurant.

As the name suggests, you would turn up with your own ingredients, say chicken fillets, rice and vegetables. Then you hand your pre-bought ingredients over to the chef.

Here’s where I feel like you should have a choice, you can either say to the chef, “I want you to make fried rice with chicken and diced vegetables.” Or, you can say to the chef, “Surprise me!” In which case he can use the ingredients you bought to create your dish.

I like this idea because I want to show up with a pineapple and a potato and say, “Surprise me!”

Are vampires just misunderstood?


Last night I met a vampire. He didn’t want to suck my blood, he didn’t want to scare me, he just wanted to talk.

His name is Vladimir Jr the Third. He lives just down the street from me. He wears a cape and has dark black hair. But he’s lonely.

He lives in a single bedroom apartment by himself, his family were all killed in tragic circumstances 90 years ago. He wakes at dusk and goes to bed at dawn, which means he rarely sees other people. And he misses that.

He told me about when he lived in Scandinavia during winter when the sun hardly ever comes out. He loved it, he would chat to the baker in the morning, help the florist at lunchtime, and liaise with the town council in the afternoon.

These days he is just wasting away in the middle of the night, but he shouldn’t. He’s over 200 years old, has this amazing knowledge and wisdom, plus he’s read almost every book under the moon.

We’re going to meet up again tonight, I can’t wait!

Is this news?


Millions DIE as race that stops the nation literally stops the nation

Millions of Australians are dead after the entire nation experienced cardiac arrest during the Melbourne Cup on Tuesday.

The first signs of tragedy were pictures from Flemington racecourse showing bodies covering the grounds emerging on Twitter.

Slowly details emerged of millions dead after everyone in Australia simultaneously suffered cardiac arrest.

Dylan Smith, a survivor, woke up amongst bodies in a local pub in Melbourne.

“When I woke up I had absolutely no idea what had happened. I saw bodies on the floor of the pub, and when I went outside the street was covered with bodies too,” Mr Smith said.

Leonard Haynes, another survivor and doctor was the first to examine the scene he saw when he woke up.

“I checked the pulse of people around me first with no luck,” Mr Haines said.

He recognised the signs of cardiac arrest, but with limited resources failed to save anyone.

“Once I found the club’s defibrillator I reckon most people would’ve been beyond saving, but I tried.”

Dubbed ‘The Race that Stops the Nation’, the Melbourne Cup is a horse race over two kilometres and generally takes about three and a half minutes to complete.

Fria Dune, a horse-racing enthusiast and survivor, was about to watch the race at Flemington when tragedy struck.

“I didn’t feel any chest pains. At the start of the race my heart just stopped. People around me started to collapse and then so did I.

“I think I blacked out for three or four minutes, so I can count myself as very lucky to be alive.”

Currently the total number of survivors stands at 296. Anyone with loved ones in Australia is urged to consider them dead.

Authorities from New Zealand were sent to Australia late on Tuesday to assess the situation.