Is this a mum joke?


My daughter and granddaughter came to visit while my son-in-law was overseas.

My daughter and I were talking when my granddaughter came in and said to her mother, “I’m hungry.”

My daughter responded with, “Hi hungry, I’m mum.” Then half in disbelief we stared at each other. But quickly my disbelief turned to amazement and I started applauding.

I got up and went over to my daughter and gave her the longest, proudest hug I have ever given her. “I’ve taught you well,” I said as tears filled my eyes.

I hope Little Miss Hungry understands all this one day.

Is this the future?


They say, “Those who don’t learn the lessons of history are doomed to repeat them.”

It’s exactly right. I’ve slowly been learning that I can predict the future. However, often I won’t realise I’ve predicted the future until it becomes the past. And then it doesn’t count.

So, I’m going to predict the future by looking at the past and asking one simple question, “What did you learn from such an event?”

And today I tried it. I asked myself, “What did I learn from eating lunch yesterday?” And from my answer I deduced that I hadn’t learned my lesson and would therefore have lunch again today.

But, I was wrong. I had brunch instead.

Is this an over-reaction?


We were joking around about hats when my friend said, “I explode at the drop of a hat.” I was a bit blown away by that.

After a few seconds of shocked silence he continued, “When I was little I refused to pick things up even though I was always dropping them. I would drop something and then call out for mum to come and pick it up.

“One day, as mum picked my hat up off the floor, she said to me, “Travis, did you know that you explode at the drop of a hat? So you need to be careful to make sure you stop dropping things.”

“After that day I have never dropped anything.”

My friends and I burst out laughing at how gullible Travis was, but to see how he would react I ‘accidentally’ dropped my hat.

Travis exploded.

Cracked Pepper?


“Um, hello… are… um… I was… a-ah-assaulted.”

“It’s okay man. You’re safe here. Tell me what happened.”

“Okay. I was walking home when these guys came up from behind me. They said mean things to me, like “Nice and meaty,” “Tasty” and “Delicious”. I wasn’t looking at them but I’m sure they were enjoying themselves.

“I turn into my street unsure what to do, cause I didn’t want to lead them to my place, but I wanted to get away. My street is fairly secluded at that time of day and before I realised I was on the ground.

“They quickly… um… ah… I don’t really know. They did stuff. I couldn’t bear it, I just closed my eyes.

“When they were done one of the guys leaned down and whispered in my ear “Until tomorrow hot stuff.” Then he walked off. I opened my eyes and I saw one of them reach into his pocket. He pulled out a salt shaker, then he a salted me again.”

When will it finish?


“I’m downloading this big, giant, crystal clear photo of the bridge and it’s only got a few hours to go, I hope it’ll be done when I get home,” boasted Sam.
“But what if someone needs the phone?” asked Levi.
Sam grabs his school bag, opens it and pulls out his home’s telephone as all the boys around him gasp.
“You’re going to be in so much trouble when you get home.”
“True, but I’ll be able to admire the bridge on my computer.”

Meanwhile today…

“Can you download a photo of the bridge for me?”
“Sure,” two seconds later, “Done.”