Remember when you were told to always sit-up straight? Either your mum or a teacher probably told you. Listen to them and do it, it might save your life!*

I was slouched over my computer screen as usual, when I heard a voice in the back of my head… “Sit-up straight.” I decided not to listen.

A minute later I heard the voice again, “Sit-up straight.” I was still reluctant and moaned, “Why?”

“Because when you slouch I can’t get a good swing at your head.”

Is it just me or is that a weird thing for the back of your head to say? So I sat-up straight, but before I could turn around a sword separated my hear from my torso.

*Or not.

A single shoe, lying in a store, unattached to a foot, unattached to a pile of shoes.

And yet, beauty.

It lies alone, removed from pressure, debunking shoe stereotypes, living the life it wanted.

And yet, tired.

Longing for love, but so comfortable alone, looking for a foot to hug, the partner to match.

And yet, style.

The shoe that stands alone dies alone. But will I pull the trigger?

I’m here in the dark, but I’m still seeking you.

I long to find you. I don’t like the thought of you out there alone. I remember what it was like when you were here, the smile on your face, the constant conversation, the care we shared.

But now I don’t know where you are. I’m searching for you in the dark and I’ll keep searching until I find you. Because I remember our connection, the time we spent together, time I wish didn’t end.

When will I see your light again? When will I find you?

“In this museum there are three rules to follow. Don’t handle! Don’t taste! And don’t touch! I have no idea why the taste one is really there, but I’ve heard rumours.

“Obey these rules and you’ll enjoy your visit to the Museum of Unique Objects. But if you don’t you’ll get a visit from Mr Wait! Mr What? And Mr Sorry. And usually I don’t say this, but you look like a particularly evil bunch of toddlers, Mr Jail-Time is always on call.

“So enjoy your tour and always remember the rules, don’t handle, don’t taste and don’t touch.”

“Excuse me Miss, who are Mr Wait, What and Sorry?”

“Oh sorry darling. They’re our big and intimidating security guards. I call them that because Mr Wait will grab you and immobilise you, Mr What will interrogate you and make you confess your deepest darkest murder, and Mr Sorry will apologise to your parents after sending you to jail. They’re a great team and always stop trouble-makers, like you, from causing destruction. Now run along you little princess. Enjoy the museum.”

THE PUZZLING ADVENTURES OF MR BURGLAR

We join Mr Burglar having broken into a house and being discovered…

HOUSE OWNER: “What are you doing?”
MR BURGLAR: “A puzzle. Do you want to join me?”
HOUSE OWNER: “Let me see.”

The house owner looks over Mr Burglar’s shoulder to see a half completed jigsaw puzzle.

HOUSE OWNER: “You mean you’re not here to rob me?”
MR BURGLAR: “Quite the opposite actually. I break into houses, do a puzzle and leave the complete puzzle with them. I don’t take things, in fact I leave them with a gift.”
HOUSE OWNER: “It’s still breaking and entering. It’s a wonder you haven’t been caught until now. I’m calling the police!”

How will Mr Burglar escape?

Find out next week in THE PUZZLING ADVENTURES OF MR BURGLAR