The other day I was telling a friend about my most recent foodbook. I got it from the local bookshop and it went through recipes for breakfast, lunch and dinner over two weeks.

I loved it. I ate one recipe a meal, it even came with suggestions for when you should eat the meal. Breakfast was probably the most difficult for timing. I get up really early some days, so eating a porridge recipe two hours after I woke up seemed pointless.

I sleep in on weekends, so I set an alarm for my Fruity Sunday Shake. I ate the recipe and went straight back to sleep. I didn’t even get out of bed.

My friend wanted to borrow the recipe book. It was a strange request, it was like he hadn’t heard when I told him I had just finishing eating it. And who wants to borrow recipe books anyway? Everyone eats the recipe. What a weirdo.