Let me explain it to you again.

Bill, my friend of seven years, lies face down in the sand on the beach. He was found just after sunrise as the tide headed out. His clothes and hair were wet.

There were five stab wounds to his stomach. His wrists were bound together and a rope was tied around his ankles, and the other end was frayed.

His wallet is gone, and he was a billionaire businessman at 27. He had no wife, very few friends and all his assets went to his best friend in university who gave him the business idea in the first place.

And yet you, a detective, say Bill’s death was caused by a serial killing vampire?

It’s no problem, it’s just this is the first time someone’s kidnapped me, so I’m a bit nervous.

I noticed you didn’t bring a bag with you. I can race back inside and get one for you. I’ve also got some duct tape lying around and a few zip-ties. I’ll just be a second.

You don’t seem very prepared for this kidnapping. I was expecting to be taken by surprise, chucked in a car, that sort of thing, but you just rang the doorbell.

Sorry guys, this is the first time I’ve been kidnapped and I wanted it to be perfect. Or at least like I imagined. This is kind of disappointing, I hope the torture makes up for it. You are going to torture me, right?

This is a loaded question, and I feel I need to explain it to avoid confusion.

First, you need to check the spelling of berry, it’s very important. Never say “Yes” unless you know they’re spelling it b-e-r-r-y, not b-u-r-y, otherwise you could be headed to the bottom of a pit.

Once you’ve checked the spelling of berry, the question is simple. It has three possible meanings:

1: The person asking to berry you is asking if they can give you a berry. This is the most common meaning of the question, and it’s generally asked when you aren’t eating a berry.

2: The person asking to berry you is asking if they can throw berries at you so you can catch them in your mouth. This is usually done with blueberries, a berry small enough to catch in your mouth, but still solid enough to maintain a smooth trajectory when thrown.

3: The final meaning of this question is less well known. This time the person asking to berry you is asking if they can treat you like a berry. This involves chopping you up and juicing you in order to make a delicious berry smoothie.

This is kind of embarrassing… but I stepped in concrete.

I was walking home from the shops when I saw the wet concrete sign. I stepped off the footpath and continued walking next to the fence, but there was a dog. The dog startled me and I stepped backwards… right into the concrete.

You don’t need to worry, I could be here overnight though. I got stuck a few hours ago when the workers weren’t around. They’re still not back yet, I think they knocked off early.

There’s also a chance you’ll see me on the news tonight, a camera crew just pulled up. See, I’m not the only one stuck here. There’s four, make that five others stuck here with me. I’m starting to think the dog planned it all along.

I just had a shower with a cockroach, it was terrifying!

All was fine when I got into the shower, but shortly after I turned on the water the cockroach appeared. It crawled up the wall right next to me. Now, I’m of the opinion that if you leave cockroaches alone they won’t bother you, I was wrong…

About half way up the wall the cockroach turned evil. It jumped off the wall! I was watching it, it didn’t slip, it jumped! And I freaked! Instinctively I jumped and tried to land well away from the menacing cockroach.

From then on I didn’t take my eye of the cockroach. It decided to make itself at home behind my shampoo. I didn’t need to wash my hair anyway.

If the cockroach stayed there I could finish my shower. But I still needed to wash my body and my body wash was right next to my shampoo.

Carefully I reached out and grabbed my body wash. When I finished there was no way I was going to put it down anywhere near the cockroach, it went on the floor, well away from the shampoo.

When I turned the water off the cockroach popped its head out, and I was out of there.

It was the scariest experience of my day at least.

There’s a tap on the window. It’s late at night but through the breeze you hear another tap on the window. In the city taps on the window are common. Putting your cup down you head over to the window and open the curtains. Looking down you see Frank, but he’s different.

Frank is normally jovial, with a big smile on his face, but now his hair is a mess, he seems to be constantly looking over his shoulder and he’s hunched over. He bends down to pick up another stone, but when he looks up he sees you and beckons you down.

You open the door, stepping out you hear a soft call from the shadows. Slowly you go over to Frank. Up close you see his black eye and bruised hands. “They took Sally.”
“Wait! What? Sorry.” is your only reply.
“The Blue Fruit Gang. They say I owe them money.”

The Blue Fruit Gang control fifty per cent of the city through the distribution of the drug Blue Fruit. It’s powerful, addictive and has most of the city hooked.

“I bought some Blue Fruit a month ago but I paid them, I swear.” Frank pleaded as his communicator beeped. “It’s a picture of Sally.”
Frank hands you the phone. “Look! It’s time stamped, it was taken a minute ago.” You hand the phone back to Frank. “Hang on, I know where that is. It’s the old warehouse, I work next door.”
“What do we do, go after her or call the authorities?” asks Frank.

To call the authorities turn to page 48.
To go to the warehouse yourselves turn to page 105.

I’m afraid I have to confess something. I am a time traveller.

In a few years a time-travel device is tested. I was chosen to participate in the trial group. Some of us went back to historic events, others to the future. I was among the group chosen to see how time-travel affects our past selves.

I was sent back in time a few years to observe my past self. At first it was simple, but today I ran into the past version of my best friend. He recognised me and invited me back to his place.

Part of my strict mandate is to observe but not interact. Interaction is deemed too dangerous until we know more. And now I know why.

The first thing my friend noticed when we arrived at his place is the scar on my arm, a scar my past self doesn’t have yet. In my panic I mentioned the time we made a cake together. The problem is that this event is still a few weeks in his future.

Fortunately his phone rang and he answered it outside, but I don’t think I can do this any longer.

CODE: 94513BW7TH9JD1L2VT0GQ73K8E4

THIS IS YOUR MISSION

Earth is about to be invaded by aliens. We do not know the origin of these aliens or their intent. We only know that unidentifiable objects, we count forty-six, are flying in formation towards Earth.

You have been chosen to intercept these objects before they enter Earth’s atmosphere. This will be done by sending you into space in an exposed one-man capsule. You will be wearing a space-suit throughout the trip, which is calculated to have you arriving on the edge of our atmosphere at the same time as the unidentified objects.

On the edge of space you will be completely exposed. The reaction of the unidentified objects will give us a clue as to their intentions. Once they blow you to pieces we will prepare for war!

There is a small chance that you don’t die, but instead are beamed onto the ship. In that unlikely event you must act as a spy for us. Learn their strengths, weaknesses and anything else useful. If you can, convince them to turn around, they can take you hostage if you like.

THAT IS YOUR MISSION

I picked up a leaf today. It was old, discoloured and beat up, but it still had enough fight left to tell me a story…

She sprouted from the big tree a few hours before Frank, her leaf mate. They grew up right next to each other as the birds sat on the big tree. She and Frank loved singing with the birds.

They grew to full size, still singing and loving it. Nothing could come between them, until one fateful day when another leaf sprouted between them. This new leaf hated life and only thought of himself.

She and Frank had to leave the big tree. Together they jumped, but a gust of wind caught Frank and blew him far away.

That was a week ago. There’s very little chance he survived this long.

I decided to put the leaf down, but I want to help her find Frank.

Like many, you may be enjoying a sundae as you read this. But I’m sure very few of you know the story of that sundae.

In a French village south of Paris, a chef worked hard all week, except Sunday, his day of rest. On Sundays the restaurant closed, which gave the village idiot an idea.

He bought some ice-cream and some chocolate sauce. He combined his ingredients and set-up shop outside the closed restaurant and wrote the name of his shop on a chalkboard “SUNDAE.” He meant to write Sunday, but didn’t know how to spell.

One Sunday the restaurant chef came by and had a “Sundae,” he liked it and started serving Sundaes in his restaurant. He even named the Nut Sundae after the village idiot.