Whenever I see or hear someone introduce two people I always double check which one is which. And this is because of a mistake I made ages ago…

It was a cold winter’s day in Darwin. I can’t remember how old I was, but I think I was under two. It was shortly before my birthday.

Anyway, two people came to visit me, I was looking after the house while mum was out getting some bread. The two people said they were Sam and Jayne. One was a guy in his mid-twenties, and the other was an older lady. I assumed the older lady was Jayne, and the guy was Sam.

I can’t remember why, but I started hitting Sam. I think it was because he didn’t like French toast. How can you not like French toast? I don’t know, so I beat up Sam pretty good.

Anyway, my mum gets home and hears about the whole thing. Once Sam and Jayne leave my mum asks me why I beat up Jayne. I told her that I didn’t touch Jayne. But she kept asking me why I beat up Jayne. The guy had to go to hospital, so mum was pretty angry. But I kept telling mum that I didn’t touch Jayne. So she sent me to the naughty corner for a few weeks.

When I was let out Sam and Jayne were back. The guy had ten stiches, serves him right for not liking French toast. Anyway, mum asks me why I beat up Jayne. And I reply, “Clearly I didn’t touch Jayne, but Sam deserved it.”

At this point my mum realises that I had Jayne and Sam mixed up. Jayne was the guy, and Sam was the girl. A common mistake, especially for someone who was only 23 months old. And now that’s why I always ask which is which.