If I was an actor I would use my talent for evil…

At the coffee shop I would act like my order hadn’t come. I wouldn’t even need to order, I could just go there and stand impatiently. I would be upset whenever they called out a name, tap my watch, and pretend to tell my boss that I’m late because I’m still waiting for my daily coffee.

In the restaurant I would act like my food tasted terrible. It would be great if I sat next to the window. I would perform for those outside, maybe I could convince people the restaurant isn’t that good.

On the street I would create contact and go down, pretending they broke my ankle. I bet I would get a few penalties that way, and as soon as the card came out I would spring to my feet.