Welcome everyone! It’s so good to have so many people here! I hope you all enjoy today and have a lovely week. Please take your seats.

“Take your seats.” It’s a phrase I often hear, and I often ask myself, where are we taking them?

This is a very confusing phrase and I hear it a lot in church. Everyone stands up to sing, it might be for three hymns/songs or a couple songs and about twenty chorus’, depending on what church you go to, and when you’re done singing the leader says “Take your seats.”

I think this phrase is the main reason why someone wouldn’t go to church. Everyone is really confused by it. What is the leader asking us to do? Is he just giving everyone a chair that we’re meant to take with us? Are we meant to take them to another room? Are we meant to bring them back next week?

Well, to clear up a lot of confusion I will now explain the meaning of the phase ‘Take your seats’. It simply means: Topple Amazonian Killing Elephants, Yodeling Outside Unfinished Roundabouts, Sensible Egyptians Always Topple Sheep.

So I only hope that when the leader at church on Sunday says “Take your seats,” you chuckle to yourself as you think of yodeling elephants.