Last week I killed a cockroach with my bare hand. It cornered me in the shower, so I picked it up and crushed it to death. But now I fear I’ve started a turf war.

A few days ago I noticed an advanced soldier surveying my bathroom. He was trying to hide from me, but I saw him. And now I know an attack is coming.

I’ve worked out their most likely point of attack, and I’ve guarded against it. There they will find the Cockroach Killer 5000 laced over the entire surface. After ten seconds any cockroach will be dead! Their attack will be futile.

Victory is mine!