I only have ten minutes to write this, and I’m going to explain exactly why.

You see, ten days ago I was at a conference, and I met a cute girl there. Her name was Ellie, and she was wearing a stunning blue dress.

So we talk and dance into the night, and I say night because we never got to morning. At 11:59PM we were dancing along when her dress suddenly turned red and flames started coming out of her eyes. Then she disappeared…

Since that night I am sure she has been following me. I know this because I receive phone calls from her saying she likes what I’m wearing.

She’s also been texting me a date and time. That date is today, and the time is