I want to get a beard, they look good. But I don’t want a beard that looks good, I want a beard that looks amazing!

Beards are pretty normal, I’ve seen quite a few recently. Some have been well kept, while others have just been rough and ragged. Both look alright, but they’re really not my style.

I want to dye my beard. I want my beard to look like I’ve been eating human flesh and blood is all over my beard. That seems like an amazing beard to me.

Of course the problem is that I don’t know where to get a beard. The shops don’t sell real ones, and the real ones are non-transferable for some reason. It’s strange, but when I do find a real one I’ll dye it blood red.