A year ago I was sold and taken to Matt’s house. Matt is evil. His purpose for me was clear from our first meeting where he gave me the name Bacon. I put up with his constant talk of my weight and his fattening food, knowing it would lead to this day, my ultimate revenge.

Matt’s friends arrived with the barbeque before midday. They were setting it up when the special delivery arrived, a large guillotine. Guillotine testing on a watermelon was carried out. In a few quick tests the watermelon was ready to serve and the test complete.

I remained calm as I approached the guillotine. Matt held the blade in place with a rope, ready to let go and end my life. His friend bent down to secure my head, it was now or never. With a twist of my head and kick to his groin I had my victim neutralised. A push on his back moved him into position. I then bounded towards Matt, causing him to jump and let the rope go. His friend was dead.

Moments later I had the rope in my mouth and as observers inspected the body the timing was right. Another head rolled. The screams were attracting attention now as panic set in. The backyard was small, and people were running everywhere, I just needed to wait. All it took was a trip and they fell into position, another head rolled.

The stupid people kept falling into my trap as heads continued to roll. A few people needed my help to position their heads. Throwing my weight around soon caught Matt’s attention. He tried to tackle me to the ground, but I was too much pig for him to handle. Breaking free I lashed a kick to his head, knocking him out.

I dragged Matt’s body into position, by now he was the only person with his head attached. Blood dripped onto the back of Matt’s neck as I raised the blade and let it go. Matt’s rolling head made the perfect meal, even better than bacon.