I recently choked on some fast food, not unusual, but it did inspire a monologue. After I spoke the first line it just came out of me. I made it up, and I’d like to share it with you. I can’t remember the exact wording, but I think this is pretty close. Enjoy.

“I have trouble with food.

“I am putting something in my mouth, and I generally have no idea where it has come from or what is in it. I also have no idea who has made it, or what they used to make it.

“It takes a lot of trust to put something in your mouth and eat it.

“Maybe I have trust issues, maybe that’s why I only drink water. I know who made that.

“But with this food, you just don’t know. Anyone could slip something in there, so can I really trust it. Is this really made from potato…”

I got a few looks at this stage, so I stopped.